7 Reasons I Didn't LOVE the New James Bond Movie ...

By Jelena

The new James Bond movie, Skyfall, was good albeit not great and, believe me, I’m a die hard Daniel Craig fan to such a degree that I’d gladly watch a two hour-long movie about him flipping a coin and think it’s brilliant! With that said, I think the only two absolutely amazing things that came out of it were the OPI Skyfall nail polish collection and the fantastic theme song that really made me believe this will be one of those unforgettable old Bond-like movies. Hope you’ve got your hater’s hat on, because this Skyfall movie review is going to be different than all of the others you may have read so far. And here’s my unprofessional, slightly biased and in all other ways completely regular- viewer –type of opinion on the new James Bond movie.

1 No “Ultimate” Bond Scene

Every memorable Bond movie had at least one “oh, he’s so the man” scene! Heck, even some pretty bad ones had at least that much! This new James Bond movie? None! By the time the credits started to roll, I couldn’t even remember one totally amazing scene I’d want to look up online just to make sure it’s burned into my mind deep enough to keep me anxious for a Bond movie that’s yet to come! I have been expecting it and seeing him all suited up and in that classic Bond zone made me thing, “Gosh, this is it”…and then we’re treated to a whole lot of Severine (which sure is a pretty sight) but have to settle for a lot less of Bond.

2 Weird Romantic Stuff

Double-o-seven has always been a ladies’ man, we all know that! Furthermore, I do have to admit Craig Bond might be the first Bond that’s more interested in hunting bad guys than moving from one sack to another. And that’s actually a good thing! The thing that did surprise me this time (and not pleasantly, by any means) is how awkwardly his two leading ladies fit into the whole picture. Don’t get me wrong, they are as beautiful as Bond girls come but still – I kind of had the feeling they are there only because a Bond movie wouldn’t be a Bond movie without Bond girls. I can’t say much more without spoiling it for all of you who didn’t see the movie yet, but check it out and tell me what you think.

3 Weak Bond

Okay, okay, I get it, this Bond is supposed to be much more real than all others! He’s not just a name, just a face, just a job description – he is actually human and we’re about to see him fighting a lot of personal demons and take a peek at the skeletons hiding in his closet. That’s a nice touch for sure. But don’t you think they’re overdoing it just a little bit? He's Bond, for Christ’s sake, James Bond, not a Desperate Housewife!

4 Ridiculous Villain

Turn coats, bitter former agents, revenge-hungry, power-hungry, tortured to madness… we’ve seen it all! And I would have been happy with a classic take on anything listed above, too! Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken – right? But no, it had to be different somehow, thus the villain that could make even the most laughable Batman villains seem totally alright! We’ve got this unusually real, radically different Bond on one side and a high on pixie-dust Marvel-like character on the other! What? Bad guys don’t deserve to be handsome? Or geniuses without the "mad" part?

5 Radically Different Genre

This is not your typical James Bond movie! We’ve got the action, guns blazing, chase to keep it intense yet there’s a lot of drama, emotions, psychological stuff to bring the characters to a whole different level. Watching it, it didn’t really feel like a James Bond movie. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Who knows! My husband slept through most of it – the new Bond was simply not his cup of tea.

6 The “Gay/Bi for the Sake of Shock” Stuff

“Oh, let’s shock the audience! I know, how about a fade to black bromance or even better – let’s make our villain hit on our hero!” Boooring! And, quite honestly, insulting! Plus, let’s look at the obvious – it’s pretty clear Silva is, to use the cliché metaphor, “batting for both teams” and again, pretty obvious (not to mention later confirmed by Craig himself) that Bond’s follow-up had been nothing but the famous agent’s try to gain upper hand. Our hero is a good man with a strong sense of duty, he’s sexy and pretty obviously straight. The villain, on the other hand, is cliché flamboyant to the point where you can’t but roll your eyes, loony, not a match for Bond (how else would you explain the fact that he needs an army to go after one agent?) etc, etc, etc. Geez! Welcome to the Stone Age, ladies and gents! Enjoy your stay!

7 007’s Appearance

Okay, what’s the deal with Bond looking so beat up? The lighting was sooo off, making Daniel Craig look worst than ever yet we still got a lot of shirtless scenes, almost as if the directors were trying to tell us, “Don’t give up on him, ladies, he’s still hot.” Now, I don’t know about you ladies but lines are definitely not a turn-off for me, I just think aging Bond on purpose might prove to be the wrong choice in the long run. It did fit the theme this time but Craig has signed to do two more Bond movies, which makes me wonder- what are they going to do now when the world famous MI6 agent is out of the woods and back to his usual self? Are they going to follow the same path and risk losing some part of the audience or fall into the trap of making a drag queen out of 007?

Well, that pretty much sums it up! Now when I think of it, the movie didn’t really suck…it was just not what I expected to follow Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. How about you? Did you love the new sequel and are totally going to hate me for this Skyfall movie review or you actually agree with me on some points?

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